Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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