If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
