Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
