I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
