shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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