Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
