? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
