How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
