you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
