Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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