the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize