k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
