im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
