not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
