Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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