Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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