This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
high people should be assigned attendants
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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