Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
