Moan for me like Helen Keller
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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