Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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