Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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