So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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