this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
