the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
