everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
