Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well you can't waste a boner
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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