you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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