I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
