You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
