The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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