am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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