I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
