so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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