I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
