That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
