He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I will be naked everywhere
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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