Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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