I'm laying in your front yard are you home
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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