She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
