I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
