Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
