sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We are all done wearing pants today
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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