And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
