Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
