Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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