I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
