I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
