the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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