Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
