You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
