Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
