I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
