The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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