Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
