he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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