opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize