so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
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