drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize