your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
