You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
