I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
